Do you have a friend who’s living with depression? You’re not alone.
According to the most recent estimates from the National Institute of Mental Health, just over 7 percent of all U.S. adults experienced an episode of major depression in 2017. Worldwide, over 300 million adults and childrenTrusted Source live with depression. But not everyone experiences depression in the same way, and symptoms can vary. If your friend is experiencing depression, they may:
1. Listen to them Let your friend know you’re there for them. You can start the conversation by sharing your concerns and asking a specific question. For example, you might say, “It seems like you’ve been having a hard time lately. What’s on your mind?” Keep in mind that your friend may want to talk about what they feel, but they might not want advice. Engage with your friend by using active listening techniques:
Keep asking open questions (without being pushy) and expressing your concern. Try to have conversations in person whenever possible. If you live in different areas, try video chatting. 2. Help them find support Your friend may not be aware they’re dealing with depression, or they may be unsure how to reach out for support. Even if they know therapy could help, it can be daunting to search for a therapist and make an appointment. If your friend seems interested in counseling, offer to help them review potential therapists. You can help your friend list things to ask potential therapists and things they want to mention in their first session. Encouraging them and supporting them to make that first appointment can be so helpful if they’re struggling. 3. Support them in continuing therapy On a bad day, your friend might not feel like leaving the house. Depression can zap energy and increase the desire to self-isolate. If they say something like, “I think I’m going to cancel my therapy appointment,” encourage them to stick with it. You might say, “Last week you said your session was really productive and you felt a lot better afterward. What if today’s session helps, too?” The same goes for medication. If your friend wants to stop taking medication because of unpleasant side effects, be supportive, but encourage them to talk to their psychiatrist about switching to a different antidepressant or getting off medication entirely. Abruptly stopping antidepressants without the supervision of a healthcare provider can have serious consequences. 4. Take care of yourself When you care about someone who’s living with depression, it’s tempting to drop everything to be by their side and support them. It’s not wrong to want to help a friend, but it’s also important to take care of your own needs. If you put all your energy into supporting your friend, you’ll have very little left for yourself. And if you’re feeling burned out or frustrated, you won’t be much help to your friend. Set boundaries. Setting boundaries can help. For example, you might let your friend know you’re available to talk after you get home from work, but not before then. If you’re concerned about them feeling like they can’t reach you, offer to help them come up with a contingency plan if they need you during your work day. This might involve finding a hotline they can call or coming up with a code word they can text you if they’re in a crisis. You might offer to stop by every other day or bring a meal twice a week, instead of trying to help every day. Involving other friends can help create a bigger support network. Practice self-care. Spending a lot of time with a loved one who has depression can take an emotional toll. Know your limits around difficult emotions, and make sure you take time to recharge. If you need to let your friend know you won’t be available for a while, you might say something like, “I can’t talk until X time. Can I check in with you then?” 5. Learn about depression on your ownImagine having to educate each person in your life about a mental or physical health issue you’re experiencing — explaining it over and over again. Sounds exhausting, right? You can talk to your friend about their specific symptoms or how they’re feeling, but avoid asking them to tell you about depression in general terms. Read up on the symptoms, causes, diagnostic criteria, and treatments on your own. While people experience depression differently, being familiar with the general symptoms and terminology can help you have more in-depth conversations with your friend. These articles are a good starting point:
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